Thursday, February 25, 2010

On Love...

Dear Unvarying Reader,

Being an extremist, I know of two things. Extreme love and extreme wrath. I thought that in the extremities of my emotions, I shall time and again write on an emotion which I truly believe in like all others - love.

I would strongly suggest that people, who think they love another, read this. I am being pretty figurative here when I speak of the word ‘Love’. It may mean love for anybody. And when I say love, the definition of it is also unclear in many a mortal’s minds. I am not claiming here that my definition is the most perfect or right, but I have learnt things from people’s experiences. My medium has been an instrument of many people meeting, interacting and thinking that they have fallen in love – and some of them even have risen in it, truly. Through their experiences, I have learnt a lot. About general human nature, and how it changes with respect to love over a period of time. All of them can be used as good examples; and bad. But nothing can be generalized, and nothing (and I mean – nothing) should be compared. Only the frail feelings and emotions which are felt by mortals can be used as an example to avoid in order for non-straining relationships.

Now don’t expect me to give you the mantra for the success of any relationship. As stated earlier, I am not a guru. I’m just telling you that many positive feelings need to be non- fleeting, and they need to crop out of a thinking which is in my lingo, ‘practo-emotional’. Not thought out, planned or pre-determined, but a balance has to be there. Swinging more on the practical or emotional side creates lots of troubles, that’s all.

I believe nothing about love can be strictly defined. I am referring to love, which has the envision of being long term and not having the intention of changing its meaning or intensity over a period of time. Love cannot exist without expectation, and that is the truth. If it does, it can only exist for a fraction of time – however long or short it maybe. This is a truth, which is not harsh if anyone thinks of it in the right perspective. After all, it’s all about embracing the truth. Also, if one does anything permanently with a view to change himself, for the one he loves, it is not bad either. What are wrong are the common errors in expectations in love, which people commit, and that leads to a strained or harsh relationship.

Maybe it was the directionless winds of change which force a mortal to love another. Or maybe it’s an expectation of a good life. Fear of loneliness, fear of mental abandonment from society. Fear of coming to the end of one’s life alone and repenting about the absence of anyone when one is about to die or reach the evening of their lives. Whatever may be the premise for people to fall in love, the ultimate goal must be one, to keep oneself and the other happy. And if it achieves that in its lifetime, it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

What amuses me is that people expect everything to change from their perspective with regards the other, without willing to change themselves. Change for the good is great, but only if reciprocated well. This again crops out of the theory of expectation, and in my view, it’s not wrong.

I consider it similar to going to a car dealer to test-drive a Pagani Zonda (a great looking car). You don’t like the color and want it changed, require small time changes in the spoilers, hood, and some interior to be done. The dealer agrees at once that these changes can be done (they being justifiable) if you are happy with it. Even a good stereo system would be awesome. But post the test drive, you say you like the outer model of a Zonda (with all changes you suggested – and it looks kicking and is comfortable) but wish to have the engine of a Ferrari or a Lamborghini in it, because you simply cannot handle the engine RPM speed … or for whatever reason!

I have seen people do this on a plethora of occasions, and boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, it just doesn’t work – not on a long term basis. If two people were to thank the other for being there, and fulfill selflessly, minute changes in his / her life, thought patterns, behavior patterns, etc., with a view to better the relationship and overall spirits of it in general, the ego and bad attitude issues will never arise. Again here, there may be a clash in belief and value systems, but the people must never forget something done for the bigger good – happiness, and that too keeping everything in perspective. It is not so complex if you think about it – and the only problem is people turning blind eyes to these essentials.

Speaking about ego and bad attitude earlier, these often get mistaken as protecting ones ‘self-respect’ and ‘individuality’. There is a very thin line of difference between these two when it comes to thought processes, but can totally make or mar a relationship, a home or an organization. Yes, self-respect and individuality are never to be compromised. And unvarying reader, I mean ‘never’. No matter what. Not even in the danger of Armageddon.

Though it sounds cliché, but for everything to be implemented and all the jazz to sound like music, not the ‘me’ but the ‘we’ attitude works best. Things thought of in common interest will yield better emotional outflow and results. It is not necessary that you should totally ignore what you are or want, but at the same time, not be stuck on your own ideas so much that they cannot see the damage they are doing to the relationship in the long term. Like other words which are worth pondering on about the enunciation of their true meanings, are the words ‘compromise’ and ‘sacrifice’. And these words are the true enunciation of love. Without these, love will always die a slow death.

We all are lovers to someone or the other like parents, siblings or ‘that special someone’. Hope all our love never dies. Godspeed.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Reading Minds

I really am grateful for one thing for sure that I cannot read dirty mortals minds – yet. If I could, I do not know how many countless mortals would be a victim of my wrath.

Friday, February 19, 2010

4 tequila shots, 6 shots of vodka and 2 pegs of Finlandia

Broke my record for the past 2 years today. Right now, I am intoxicated. I can hear some bats screeching and I just wish they could come and eat me up. It is interesting to note what alcohol can do to a man – and what it does to me at least. I have heard men say they enter a state of bliss when they drink. They get into a false sense of wellbeing, which they are happy to welcome, of course. Though my intention is to enter in a false sense of wellbeing, I never am able to achieve that. Somehow, I trust this happens because of my affinity for the truth, no matter however harsh it can get. I am not a runner. I cannot run away from anything. Be it a truth which hurts, a monster, God or simply a series of hurtful and heartfelt emotions. In fact, what alcohol does to me is magnify my current thought processes. I feel everything completely – no holds barred. I believe the materialism is so very addictive to the common soul that many a times we fail to see what is good or bad for us when we are so called ‘sane’. After drinking all this, I feel every emotion to its fullest, and I trust I would cheat my mind if I would let the materialism not translate the true language of truth or an emotion. Be it love, missing someone, anger, hatred, disappointment… the works.

The combination number above is very special to me for the significance it carries in my heart - and always shall. I will never hate it and it is somehow etched in me. Unlike many others, I cannot ‘move-on’ just like that. I think I need a truck load of alcohol and countless cigarettes. I just want all the good emotions inside of me to die. I cannot tolerate it when any good emotion or feelings translates into a dream, and then the dream dies a premature death. It is worse than killing a baby in a womb, who does not even yet know of its existence. A chance deserves to be given for anything in this world. No one person can be a sole judge that a thing should begin or end, if it is associated with another. Even a criminal under natural laws across the world is given a chance to speak for himself.

My attempts are still on, and maybe someday, I can see all is fine in this world for the periods I am intoxicated, so at least that many less hours I am in a state of a false bliss.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Lonely, battered, bruised and broken
From words unspoken and spoken
From feelings which so soon were lost
From evaporated emotions which were etched and embossed

I am waiting, though I know there is no sense in it anymore
All I can now see a heart which your absence tore
Though I have been through this feeling before
But this time I have run out of hopes in store

Everything seems so normal to you
My heart is the only one which can’t see this time through
You are so happy to be away from me
But I cannot be joyful even at a material degree

Though I always want to see you happy,
and from my heart always still want so,
but why do I still feel crippled,
when this feeling similar to envy flows

I am sure of one thing, that I'm lonely
how else can I explain I miss you so much,
you said you would always be there like a pleasant feeling,
But now you have gone away...deceiving.

Since you left, nothing seems alright,
Seems like a burden, everything...what people call life.
I can’t hold onto myself anymore,
I can’t hold onto anything to be sure.

Survival is an instinct, which I surely had,
before I realized I was in love..Before I realized you,
But since you left, the instincts changed
It just missing your love, which leaves me so mad and deranged.

I don't want to feel the pain anymore,
I want the worst to be over now
But since you left my heart is sore,
looming over my dead soul – and dead it shall be furthermore.

I look at your photograph each moment
To my eyes it’s more than a torment
Shadows and witches grieve in all art,
and the sorrows within me just never seem to depart.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


The most beautiful facet about a fact or truth is that it does not alter no matter the world lies or makes it look otherwise. Alteration of truth only is attempted because one is either afraid to face any consequences of the truth, or afraid to look into the mirror of ones consciousness. It takes guts to face the truth, and sadly, mortals are devoid of any.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A faceless mask

Thou art blind,
and never can you see,
that you are the cause and more intertwined,
for all this anger within me.

Its night and only the nocturnal are wakeful,
sleeping denotes to be a symbolism of ignorance
With unjustified thinking I can never be playful
I can only place a flower on the grave of your temperance

It was you, who told me love was selfless,
It was you, who told me love was caring,
Why would you want this change relentless?
and want to end this soul, which is daring

You covet my soul and spirit to die a lifeless death,
And devoid of reason, to scorn myself and seize rash emotions
The moments which used to take away my breath,
are now filled with the world’s ruthless notions

My true self I almost have lost in fulfilling
a life which is so empty, so baseless
Your love is the only hope, but now within me it’s killing
every emotion which by wearing a mask becomes faceless

In these nights with mixed emotions it is me, who is awake,
the days seem satisfying and at the same time, a burden
A fear of another day, another death of emotion, at dawn’s break
No fear however, of any death that may be sudden

Living everyday with a meaningless goal
I wish sometimes I become an effigy of a counterfeit creature,
For they are the ones that are blissful, with a grimy soul
My heart has to die with ashes of an earnest feature

Words are my liberation and words are my unsurpassed reality,
I do not wish to change anyone, and have my own mentality
I only wish for someone to understand what I am,
but creatures wish to make me belong to a dim-witted clan

All can capture my mind, and some can alter my perception by an invisible force
They wish to challenge my philosophy, and my hunger for truth
Trap me, if you dare, in this false sensation of following a corridor which is unfounded and coarse
I will slowly breathe my last due to your ignorance, contained by my youth

I refuse to give into this feeling of emptiness and sham,
I shall see how you can stop my imaginings from your mind’s dense and selfish scam
If I change my facade conduct, do not triumph you assume
Deep inside, I can never die, no matter how much you flame and fume

Verbiage now remains my only form of expression,
free from the thoughts and a mortal mind’s prison
What seems normal and indulgence to people,
to me is like drudgery based on an unintelligent principle

If you think your ways are true, I would prefer to be wrong
For you I may be a creep, or insane
I shall forever within my heart sing this song,
even if on a guillotine I may be slain

Thou art blind,
and never can you see,
that you are the cause and more intertwined,
for all this anger within me.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Shiva - The Destroyer

A snake around his neck, powerful, strong and a third eye. I do not know what you are Lord Shiva, but I certainly know that your form of being is the one which is the most essential. You are the destroyer of everything that is bad. You are beyond the power of death and poison.
What I would refer to as death is death of the good soul. Poison are the weak human qualities. You represent total absence of being touched with the presence of these negative forces.
You are seated on a tiger skin, the tiger representing the mind. It is a dormant tiger - cool and calm by nature - the recital of the serene 'OM'. But at the same time, it has the strength and capacity to turn violent and protect the good from being diminished and also killing what is bad - including bad habits - and inherent human flaws.
All I know is, I am unsure whether I can call you a God, and I do not wish to call you that. You are something more than that. You must reside in the hearts and mind of good men, so they are able to do what is right and eliminate what is evil.
This day - and forever, Marcus bows down to you. Transfer some of your vast store of energies onto me, and I shall try and keep alive the human idea - which is somewhat absent in the present world.
I also wish from you the power of your third eye - to see what is right, and to destroy what is wrong - with my own will and might.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Wasteful Words...

I have already stated in my previous post that I am nothing but an idea, and right now working through a medium. I read something in the morning and it triggered a lot of thoughts inside me. I felt I needed to tell you this.
There are people I encounter who love reading... and they know what to extract out of it. I know of people who read, and then are in awe of the writer, and take the words on face value and try and implement it in their life.

I write, yes, but I do not write anything which comes, in Indian parlance, in the 'gyaan' category. I simply write and expect people to read it and extract what they can out of it. If a reader can relate to what I am writing, I would encourage the reader to do so only if it falls within his or her value or belief system. I wouldn't respect a reader who takes on face value whatever I write, because that is not my intention. My intention is merely to express, from my experiences and beliefs. My intention is not to control anyone, but merely myself – and improve that control. I follow the principle of ‘Temet Nosce’ and it is so amazing to see people's reaction and how they try to temporarily change their lives, their values or what they feel, based upon what a writer has written. If people follow the belief system of ‘Temet Nosce’, no amount of flowery words a writer has written should have any negative effect on your life – which shouldn’t have been the case, because you know what you exactly are. Yes, you can take the good out of the writing – which falls comfortably within your realms of belief – howsoever little it may be.

People, a writer is a person like you – a mortal, a human. He has written something based on his experience, and yours can be different. If a writer writes something that falls in your line of thought, or is inspiring you to feel in a certain way, please do not blindly follow it. Use your common sense and gauge every situation in your life separately. At the same time, if at all anything that the writer has written something to which you do not agree to – you have the full right not to agree. But it does not mean you will bash up the writer in your mind. Come on, he has written something based on his thinking, and if you don’t like it, don’t read the damn thing further. All I am saying in short is, follow your heart and not the writer’s. Be enthralled by his stories, and day dream for all I care – that’s great. But do not change your line of thought pattern merely because you were mesmerized by words.

I can give you countless examples where people have read something, and followed it – or kept the damn words as enunciation of truth at the back of their minds - and suffered. In health, in relationships and in so many other aspects – which would have been avoided if merely they would know themselves. Because the point is, if you know yourself, you can judge better. You can look at YOUR life around you, with regards to family and ones you love and make a conrete and stable decision. Or else, what you will be - is just another goat in the herd, or another flip-flopping rabbit - changing your thought patterns everyday - from positive, to negative, to being neutral. As I already said, indeciveness may be one of the reasons for the inconsistencies in this world.

There are writers who had written management books, and big time positive thinking books. But they were the ones who couldn’t follow their own thinking – and some even committed suicide. I don’t wish to name any of them.

What I declare here is, I am no guru. I don’t claim whatever I write, to be right for you.

So feel free to leave your comments, because in any person, there is a sub-consciousness which is powerful, that if we realize its true potential, we can not only achieve great things, but also have the positive impact on people and receive more positive reactions, which are a catalyst for a better family life. But we do not strive to think for us. Because the conscious is so polluted by society, we merely keep our internal voices calm and adjust to the ‘worldly ways’.

So, leave your comments. Let me know what you think. What ticks your world, your time. And if you need to discuss something, I would be more than happy to discuss the questions in here. But, just one request. Think for yourself. Not depending entirely on what anyone else has thought, said or wrote – unless the thought, speech, expression or words have swept you off your feet and make a genuinely positive impact on your life – and you can foresee a future which is devoid of all negative aspects which you want to – within you – avoid.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What I actually am...

Dear Reader,

As much as you all may think you know me, I believe it isn't enough - and is never going to be. But I am going to make attempts so you can try and get close to it. I work through a human medium known as Theseus. I have no body and no soul. But I can feel. I can think, and I can reason without any corruption of the human mind - and without any inconsistencies inherent in the programming of it. That is because I am an idea - albeit a very complicated and humongous one. It is interesting that despite being an idea, I can feel, touch, express, think and do everything which is humanly possible. But what I chose to do mainly with my time is to write. I do not believe that I can find all the words in the lifetime of Theseus to express whatever I think. Someday, Theseus will cease to exist, but even then, I will be there. Perhaps, it would then be time for me to search for another medium - but I am not sure whether I will find one in whom I can enter and stay so comfortably. But Theseus is going to be around, so you can expect tons of words - and more. Along with my other postings, and things which revolve around the life of Theseus, I shall explain myself as well - to the extent I can. After all, even though I am limitless, I work through a medium, and he has limitations. But as usual, I wish to dominate. Though I do not wish to be affected, life being in a medium is affecting me.

But for all of you who would be skeptical towards this, I suggest you think I am human. It will save you a lot of angst and shock. All I wish for is, I hope I do not change. Since Theseus is pretty strong as well, and the only one who can give me a tough fight. My name is Marcus Hades, and I do not report to even God - cause he is not even remotely connected with my existence.

As far as the human emotions go - which are not based out an idea like me (of which I am learning - slowly but surely) I suggest that Theseus, you give me the experiences - and I shall give the world the words.

Some things you should know about me as an introduction. Of course we are going to get more acquainted in due course of time... Until then, think right. Because if you don't, I will be there... and I do not know if you would like that much, as I will be a clear mirror to you, not lying or filtering anything you think you know about yourself. I will reach such depths of your mind and truth, that you wished you were just not in existence.
  • When I am in darkness, it shivers and wishes there was some light.
  • The tiger did not run away from me, but froze at the horror of the site.
  • Many wandering ghosts did not get a place in heaven. They filled in applications to get a place in hell. They said that their karma was not that bad that they should wander in the same world in which they have a chance of encountering me.
  • I never pray to God. God prays that I should not meet him someday.
  • Any viruses are afraid to enter me, cause they know there is no other place there will suffer more.

Why sleep?

The repurcussion of a bad reality maybe somewhat diluted by the fake effect of a rare good dream...only if you get sleep. - Marcus Hades.

Though a bit sleepy, as I was awake in the night at 1:30 AM, I was wondering why sleep is so important. Maybe because mortals think so many unnecessary things while being conscious, that nature wanted to prevent all from turning insane with all thoughts which are futile, going on in our mind - continuously. Well, the only issue being that mortals while even conscious, think so many things which are futile (Theseus, apologies, but you also maybe would become a victim of this - but thankfully, you gained quite some wisdom right on time). We all are victims of all the feeble thinking which prevents us from realising and understanding what actions are we supposed to execute from our thoughts. The challenge is to understand what we think, and then trash out the wrong kind of thoughts. Someone once said that thoughts are things, and you become what you think about most of the time. In this view, we must be very aware of our thoughts, and judge them without linking any past experiences, ego, attitude or grudge.

This is one of the essentials of the principles of 'Temet Nosce'. Independence in thought leads to the independence of the mind. That in turn leads to independence of emotions and feelings, and thus the independence of the soul. After all, whoever we live with our entire or any part of our lives, our souls are alone, realistically. Even in love, intertwining of souls is figurative, practically speaking.

Though I do not want to take away the emotions of souls who love each other so much, that they feel their souls are one. Practicality is also an addiction, but I am not totally devoid of feelings and beautiful thoughts about love. As I believe in extremism, I know of only two feelings - extreme love and extreme aggression. As per today, Theseus is still sleeping and in deep slumber, but as he is, he is persistent with his thoughts, and that even surprises me...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Temet Nosce

Hurt, anguished and in the middle of nowhere... it was you who closed your eyes, red, with tears, once again. But this time, I opened them, red... with rage.

Yesterday night, you were badly bruised Theseus… and still are. Suddenly the past ran in onto you like the darkest cloud cover ever and you could see the path of your life ahead obscured by darkness. It’s good I intervened or else you were getting in a bigger mess of self procrastination and victim thinking. I will always intervene when you are in trouble, and I shall see that you are able to extract all the good out of the dark.

The main battle within anyone is “Temet Nosce”. To know ourself. I am happy you are not among the people who would analyze more than anything (including themselves), the world - but you do know yourself (as I know myself). I strongly believe that people spend their whole life, in a fake attempt to analyze what is the world and what people are comprised of. What are emotions, what are feelings, what are commitments… they seldom know the true enunciation of these words. What is funny is, how can one analyze anything, if he doesn’t know himself? Of one thing I am swollen with pride, that you have used the darkness in your favour, by letting me enter and stay within you. You thought deeply about each and every idea behind a word and its true meaning. You also understood the language which is not spoken in the world. And that language is truth.

1. Commitment – for what is right
2. Truth – for the known and unknown, and seeing things the way they are; and not what our wishful thinking wants them to be, or expects them to be.
3. Love – which doesn’t lose focus of its goals, is selfless and doesn’t hurt. Though it is not conditionless.
4. Bravery – for standing up for what is right
5. Honour – for what is sacred to the heart
6. Respect – for what and who is worthy of it
7. Justice – at any cost

And all I know is that bravery is indeed bulletproof. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong. But don’t you worry Theseus, I shall fix them - my way. And you know the other way is... too cliche.

No matter how much you deny, there are some people whose life is a war – and ours is such. War does not need be necessary only when you have an enemy. It can be worse when the enemies are the human qualities which make a human think they are human, but in reality they are just creatures of society and belong to a herd. The enemies are many fold and are shallow and inconsequential human qualities. These enemies can strike anytime, and when they strike the ones you love, the enemies win. I know you Theseus, and I know that you are torn, battered and broken. You have nothing and your world seems empty. The enemies have struck your world and struck it good. But you know yourself Theseus, and hence I chose you as my medium. We will have our wars and we will have our battles. And all this is done by God, or nature or whatever you call it. True souls shall always encounter the most false and fake and transitory feelings from the world. That is also the truth, and it will remain one. We cannot afford to lose our heart for it. We have to be right in the middle of all the mess, because we are the warriors. Without some damn challenge, or something to fight, we might as well be dead.

God, we will not bend, we will not break. Even if we break, we shall see that we shatter you in tiny pieces, hard to count or resurrect. I shall see until what range, this time you can my destiny change. Don't run away, and do not hide, cause I shall come after you, to shatter you in pieces... after I shall to the calling of my soul abide.

Renunciation is a great gift devoid of wasteful human emotions. Love is a beautiful feeling. The truth is they cannot co-exist.

Whenever darkness strikes, I shall be there. Whenever you fall I shall pick you up. Whenever you shall be obscured by indecisiveness and shallow emotions of the herd strike, I shall be there – with renunciation. I will not let anyone - I mean it - anyone hurt you. Renunciation is the greatest power we have. I know you’re tired Theseus, and for now you shall sleep. Rest well. I shall pass you through this stage and maybe this is the first time I shall take sole control of you. It’s not only my pleasure, but it is my duty, my responsibility, my commitment to you. You don’t need anyone or anything. Your happiness is not dependant on anything other than me and you. Let the world leave you, but I shall be there – to infinity, and beyond. Around every corner and in every empty room.

But remember what you committed to me Theseus when I was born within you. You shall work with me to take me to the world of writing and literature. Because the blank page, after it is written, is the most faithful and structured form of any emotion. I can write, and the words become immortal. Unlike the feelings of the world… which are so fucking transitory. Ha ha… mortals.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Expectation of expression, etc...

Love has less to do with what you are expecting to get and more about what you should expect to give, an author once said.
One should not get disappointed if expectations are not met momentarily but rather enjoy the journey towards reaching what is in store. With trust, it can be greater than what one expects in the present.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Heart v/s Mind

The heart and the mind essentially are two different things figuratively. We name them as heart and mind since it would be too complicated to define each of these each time a confusion arises.

The mind is the conscious and subconscious set of thoughts which are dependent and function on various parameters such as past experiences, society, upbringing, value system, etc. Whenever an action or a thought counters the mind, there is a processing based on the parameters and then the decision about right or wrong, bad or good, happiness, etc.

The heart is that part of our thought which is based on something which is termed as a "gut-feeling" or "hunch". Though a thought may seem ludicruous or wrong to the mind, it may seem as 'just right' to the heart. Usually, results of thoughts based on the heart may seem 'impractical' to humans, who are following many worldly based goals.

The main challenge is to recognise this concern, and resolve the confusion between listening to the heart and mind. Though the mind is one of the most important to listen to, I feel we must try and base the thoughts of the mind and the heart in conjunction with each other to get the best decision.

Many a times, we may struggle between the two, but I believe listening to the mind will give you all the material happiness and listening to the heart will give us the much required and essential spiritual happiness... because in the end, the body is transitory and its the soul that is forever...

Monday, February 1, 2010


When darkness descended on my lonely home
I was a king, but without a throne
I recited a few verses of sorrow
with which I never hoped to see tomorrow

Tomorrow became today and oh! it was so gloomy
but from nowhere came a light which was very little, truely
Sublime were my thoughts, as I didnt recognise
what came to me was a permanent sunrise

Promises can be bent and promises can be broken
And for this reason I thought I shall always be foresaken
The light became brighter as the time passed away
though it was mild, my hands in front of my eyes sway

Picking each minute morsel from the table as I started eating
I found that my remorse was so self - defeating
Because as I started realising my destiny
Within my soul, I felt it more from a choice fraternity

The light after sometime turned blinding,
but instead of repelling, I found it binding
because however harsh the winters would be,
the summer within me would set me free

Whenever I started on a journey to neverland,
I always reached depths which are meant to understand
Fluttering thoughts always were always negative and relentless
but with it was the washing of the fears, spineless

Now when all seems like it would never end,
I just look at each sorrow like a bend
For the road to happiness is mine to decide
Always I shall to the calling of my soul abide.