I wish I was fond of love

I wish I was fond of love,
which diminishes their value,
Of people who did not leave their side,
when lovers were totally untrue

I wish I was fond of love,
which makes a grandiose appearance,
and leaves ones heart empty,
Unawares of its riveted arrogance

I wish I was fond of love,
which limits itself in a form,
which makes one believe only in gaining,
where manipulation is the norm

I wish I was fond of love,
which revels in grandiose existence,
where most seem like doing the world a favour,
creating in guise, other humans with persistence

I wish I was fond of love,
the idea of which lasts forever,
but in its quest to be complete,
is treasured in moments, never

I wish I was fond of love,
in which lovers are able to hate after they depart,
in which replacing someone is a sport,
in which filling a void comes naturally,
and in which pettiness becomes the tradition

I wish I was fond of love,
which doesn’t realize the gold of fleeting moments,
which doesn’t know that it makes the heart grow,
which falls in the feet of fate so easily,
which grows cold as it snows

I wish I was fond of love,
which they speak about aloud,
which they think about day and night,
and which dissipates slowly from the heart,
at the mere thought of inveterate incapability

How to brainwash nations

 Summary tutorial - How to brainwash an entire nation 101:

1. Understand the specifics of the weak psycho-social mindset of most of the population in the country. Hire some socio-cultural experts to enable the specific influences over the same. 

2. Tap on topics which the majority are inclined to have an affinity towards like caste, poverty, religion, etc. through social media floods. Hire social media experts to do the same on a constant 24/7 basis.

3. Make internet available and accessible to every possible class. Keep the nation busy and hypnotized. Keep negative comments edited and magnify positive comments through social media engineering (keeping sure the citizens are unaware of how this functions - or it even exists). 

4. Make those topics as more important over the needed ones by constant badgering. Make them sound as the need of the hour over other important issues. Create a sense of security when there is none, a sense of effective governance even if scarce. Use social media as in point 2. 

5. Define classes and divisions which already exist and make the differentiation and discriminatory aspects louder, and consequently, psychologically widen the gap further. This would further impact the existing sad state of unity amongst the citizens. 

6. Create an “us versus them”, “partriot versus antinational” environment through constant badgering as per point number 1,2 and 3. Create definitions within to make people think they are on one side or another, and there is no middle ground. Create a culture of pretense patriotism. 

7. After attaining some power, gain more power by asking celebrities, news channels or influencers endorsing every act of yours in positive light, whether they be positive or negative. 

8. Be unavailable for comment or interviews with people and institutions where practical questions could be asked. Only broadcast / telecast speeches or interviews which are doctored to feed the importance of points 1 to 6 as reinforcement techniques.

9. If practical problems arise, follow point 8 and go back to point number 1. Repeat. Ensure creating emblems, flags, structures and gatherings which feed the importance of 'belonging' through points 1 to 6.

Lots of plans?

I need to remember this. Having a lot of choices only keeps you away from your goals. Just thought I’d share an insight during my time here. The problem with thinking that you have too many choices could be a great loss of strength for a meaningful goal. Fear keeps us away from pursuing into thinking that we need to go after only one main goal. So we intrinsically go after several, either out of the desire for more of ‘life’, or as a backup plan in case we fail at Plan A. We immediately ride on the programmed way of thinking we have a plan B and plan C, and yes, we’re efficient in thinking about those. That gives us a sense of control.

It doesn’t hurt to have a plan B and C mapped out in a small corner, but the riveted effect of you giving them too much importance is that you don’t take plan A too seriously. Fear and the necessitated desire for half-living always cripple your courage. Plan A will seem like this impossible (but good to have) “dream” that you need to try out once in life, because those sentimental quotes and proverbs about not dying with any regrets made your heart tickle a little bit. We misread words to fit our bubble of thinking, and we would rather be brave in small matters than larger ones. I believe that the successes we see around us are the result of those people thinking they didn’t have a plan B. But again, those people also had all the body parts which signify courage (for the unfamiliar I am referring to gut, balls and cheek). We only have to follow through on our courage. So, I think it is time to chuck all the plan B’s.

Lets see what can I do with this thought. What can you do with it?

My wish...

I can’t be with you all the time,
of why I’m very sure
But then it would be serious crime,
To not teach your soul to soar

So my boy and girl, please understand,
I love you too much to let you know
My wishes for you form my every strand,
And hence, even in darkness, you will glow

I wish you understand more,
about the uncertain nature of love
People want it to be eternal and more
While they don’t accept its many forms

I would like you to pay good attention,
When time doesn’t tide in your favor
It will be forced to change its direction,
And even small triumphs you must savor

And when walking in the storm, know well,
when to be agile, and when stealthy
You shall seize the day even from hell,
And of wisdom shall be wealthy

Do not hear their redundant teachings,
Who stop you from being who you are
Let them calculate their misreading’s,
While you look up the moon and stars

This is all I’ll say today,
In the fear of being a bore
All I will forever convey,
Is the power for your soul to soar

Knowing you? or Loving you?

As they walked towards the beach, she felt lighter being in his company than she did a few days back. She felt acquainted to him again. She now felt more comfortable after witnessing how he tipped the driver more than generously and recollecting what he had said to him.

After reaching the beige colored sands, which got darker as the sun was setting, they picked a place to sit down.

“You’re still kind. You just have a warped sense of feeling that you have changed. I still feel that you’re the same guy I met more than two decades ago. Maybe you just feel you’ve changed, but it isn’t true.” She said, as she looked towards the horizon.

“I think you’re miscalculating, and I never want you to do that.” he said.

After her silence to this, while she smiled a little, he continued, “I was kind to that driver due to the limited view I had of his facts and his horrid circumstance and he seemed like a good person. That’s all. I am sure if I would know him well enough, things may have been different.”

“But you do love some people in your life, and I know you love me. You know all of us well. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense.” She said

“I don’t think that’s love on its own. That is a result of responsibility and comfort. Most of the times, love is the result of comfort due to what we think we know. Most of the times, the more you know someone, can result in two things – one is comfort, and the other is discomfort or indifference, and sometimes hate. Most times, comfort supersedes love. I am sure if I know someone too well, I wouldn’t love them and hence I feel it’s better to not know everyone completely, because then I just know that no one, even me, is worthy of receiving the thing called flawless love; because you know, there is no such thing.”  

He tapped his snuffbox, and administered a nice fat pinch. He looked at her and she looked perplexed.

“Don’t worry. Even I don’t understand this sometimes. All I know is, this is the way it is.” 

Bullies

Bullies. You’ll find them anywhere and everywhere. They come in different age groups, forms and will encounter you at different places – at work, at a gathering, and at other places where you’re forced right into a situation with them. They will tease you, poke fun at you, and make you feel less belonged to any place just because of their own insecurities or their idea of ‘fun.’ They’ll be high maintenance in every aspect in their own circle, demanding instead of requesting, arguing instead of understanding and imposing instead of getting a perspective – and most of all, they’ll be ridiculously unfair.

Two or more bullies sometimes form a pact and try to target one individual after standing on a pedestal of self-imposed illusion of what they might say ‘attitude’. Now, I am not interested in writing about what makes them so. That’s psychiatry. And that’s not on what I am delving in here. There have been so many reported suicide cases due to ragging that I cannot count. Just google on it and check for yourself. And those which are not reported, the large majority, and those who don’t fall in the extremes, are always living in constant fear of them and live a much suffocated life.

Bullies feed on the timidity and decency of their victims through their senseless idea of fun or a fuel to their taken-for-granted attitude. Sometimes their humor is labeled as ‘harmless fun’ when confronted or questioned, or they’ll just shrug it off and push it more – just because they can.

I was a very timid child during my school days, and that carried on during my entire adolescence and yes, during my adulthood which is not very much in the past. I couldn’t say ‘no’, would fall prey to the fear the bullies created that they will do some harm in my usual course of life – and mind you, and I was afraid. Very afraid. But after understanding their psychology and deep diving into their personas, I see that it is not tough to confront them.

To all who can relate to this in the form of a victim, my thoughts go out to you. If you think someone can help you, talk it out with someone you truly trust. There is no self-worth in being quiet or ‘taking it’ all the time. There is no decency in letting people dominate you in the wrong way. There is no calm useful to your mind which creates an unrest within your soul. Stand up and stand strong. Beat their arrogance by knowledge and logic, their harshness by maturity, their persistence with your force. All I can say is, they’re really not that important. The moment you stop giving them what they crave for, they die like vampires would die without blood. So, don’t feed them your fear.

So - Strategize. Confront. And take the stand which is rightly yours.  

Karma? Who are you?

Let us think about Karma for a moment – and its psychological and actual effect in our lives. I always think that it is a force of nature which unveils itself – sometimes suddenly, sometimes it takes its time. When people think about Karma, mostly people think in the way of – do good, good will come back; and do bad, it will come back too. But somehow I don’t really think that’s how Karma works. 

Karma has a personality, (and in fact it has multiple personalities which are in ORDER) I think, if you believe it or not. Some people think they can set off their bad deeds with good deeds. I know right now, while I am laughing at this ideology, Karma is sitting beside me in a rocking chair and having a pipe, giving me that sly smile – because it knows I understand it. Look here people – Karma isn’t a child that you can give a candy or a toy and make it believe something you want it to, or even something you believe. Karma has sharp eyes, a sharper vision and a killer attention to detail. So know this now (and I know for some of you it comes as a bad news) – bad karma cannot be and will not ever be set off by good karma. 

Zonked? Wondering whether I am high? I certainly am not. What I mean is that bad deeds will be taken care of in their own time and will take their own might. You’ve done a bad deed? Be sure Karma is going to equate it for you. Sometimes it might be harsh, sometimes not. It is a sum combination of your guilt, regret (and if you do have such a thing as awareness) and Karma power packs it with actions in its own time and way.

Good deeds will not help in erasing your bad ones. Period. Your good deeds are most certainly, well, good in their own way – if they are not selfish. And when I mean good deeds, I don’t mean just looking after your parents, feeding the hungry, donating, charity or just being a good Samaritan or a concerned citizen. What I mean it – you must FEEL like doing it without you being selfish about what soul energy or ‘happiness’ you get. If they do set something off, they are your own soul, feelings and realizations. You do it because that is you, not because it makes you feel good. That’s selfish! Confused? Good, you should be – because Karma is not one but many personalities in one. I was confused until I found out how it operates. But then when it’s clear, I don’t think any vision is near its excellence.

So, do good or bad – and see what happens. Maybe nothing will happen, maybe something will; maybe a lot will. But I know one thing – what you feel and what you will be will change, and that, boys and girls is ultimately what matters.  

The Wisdom Tree

Whose vows am I to fill,
Which distorts my present will,
I went to seek solace and peace
In busy and crowded streets

An epiphany once I bore,
Seeking wisdom to the core;
Then I learnt what I sought,
Was in this place only bought

Mere survival though souls it kills,
Failed to dampen my utmost will;
Faithfully imprisoned until the end,
The ways were always going to bend

Thus I refuse to refute the sense,

Which fills this atmosphere dense;
I shall always in my soul be free,
Under my proverbial wisdom tree

Innovate

How was it that it came upon me?
Why would I crave to be so free?
Pondering over all the years spent;
Wondering what was the soul’s intent
Traveling round in circles it seems,
Bits of reality and chunk of dreams
The way out of this darkness is far,
Since we are stuck in hell’s reservoir
Hope, a thick cloud, faith is a dead sea
The future, something I might oversee
And then I also cannot seem to find,
A beautiful zeal, a gladness undefined
How to move something that is frozen?
Those wills, emotions, elevated notions;
When decisions are a malicious snake
With more than body and soul at stake
Yet, for now, we shall just wait,
Until the destinies decide to innovate
I wait for the arrival of those hours,
While I dig within and plant these seeds;
The raven calls, and its call overpowers
But I’ll live, for my unearthly needs

I breathe again...

After a long time, I breathe again.

Born again in a swampy, dark place. Feeling pathetic. The medium is broken, shattered; but just before being destroyed, calls out a name. And here I am. Not exactly a favourable place and time, but here nonetheless.  

The greatest fights will now begin at the darkest places. Winning may not even be in sight or possible, but one thing is inevitable – the fight. I have not given up yet.

A hand rises from the swamp, from the quicksand. I don’t know for sure whether I can prevent the drowning, but I will not give in without a fight.

Not even the faintest of lights, my eyes covered in muck – but one thing I can feel – my eyes are open. Bloodshot, cold, but open. Tired, but willing to look at the old things anew. Lost focus, but dreaming of a vision. A vision which has a very faint chance – but there is still a chance. We will fight for it, until we perish.

We will rise to surprise fate, and even if we do not win – we will make the end struggle. We will strangle it.

The smallest of fists will attempt to punch the largest of the giants. Let the storms team up. Let them gather. Let them flow. Let us show them what we know.  

Peace?

Peace? Though in fractions, I find it. I find it in not wronging the just. I find it in not being envious about the little happiness people find. I find it when I wish people well. I find it in being content that I did my best. I find it in not being jealous of someone who has something I don’t. I find it in not being vengeful. I find it in letting go. I find it, sometimes, just being silent, by myself.

Caught

Of that path was the destination unseen
Always seemed fairest it had ever been
A charming truth a soul did now crave,
Before it reached a shallow grave
What it felt and more,
made a monster within it rise,
which wishes to destroy every core
That evil lurked in stunning disguise
Threw it lifeless in parts more than two,
More damage than only one can undo,
Caught in between two sides of mine
One seeks to love, another itself hates,
It looks helplessly towards fates design,
Look on as its knife manipulates; penetrates
Each day the monster rises within,
any ruse it does not attend
Aware that if it is not let free,
It will whip till it silently bleeds; and ends

Replace

Replace it; I wish the pain,

which lightens over time, 

‘cause one that heart contained,

diminished a self of mine.

I have known from myself,

in these long, dark years, 

the eyes can never be tired,

sorrowing from some fears.

The Door

The more I close a door,
Ahead lies another still,
And seeming I cannot ignore
What it conveys, instills

When I open another one,
It again leads to you I see,
I’m lost, perturbed and outrun
and all the reasons oversee

A lonely ghost, the ghost is I
and as others just pass me by
I am desert, sand and all above
I now just crave your love

If I am to end, I’ll embrace
an end well-founded and true,
Nothing which your love can replace
Nothing more willed to pursue

The sea

Which sea shall turn within,
while all turned shallow;
while tears are marking the end of I,
and all of that truth made hollow

The veneer of immortality,
had kissed our life so fragile;
A kiss goodbye each hour of day,
never dreamed would be so agile

The witness are they all,
the rise and the fall;
Have me cornered every side,
with their hurting pride

Then the soul, weeping all alone,
Proclaimed loud it’s not a stone
The sea will always churn within,
Oblivious of the storms it brings

A trace of mine

I don’t know what clouds stand gathering,
Which stare down upon me now
I could not earlier bear, stand suffering
but now, I’m forced to welcome it somehow

My imagination painted the beginning,
of what seemed like an eternal heaven
Ignorant that I was already given up,
before the months finished numbered seven

And amidst most of these memories,
of which I don't know use;
perplexed whether I can rely on them,
to chase some shady hues

But I know the flavor of fading now,
Diminishing just doesn’t come to me
What trace of mine will fate allow;
A part which grows, such even I cannot see

The Tree

What is it about this tree,
Which keeps me enchanted this night
Something within it is not so free,
That I think of its unknown plight

So many passerby’s beneath its leaves,
have shelter when needed taken;
and the tree stands, and believes,
That they have love for it awaken

Also when they spoke to it,
As if it was their most loved claim;
And while leaving it alone again, admit,
and etch forever their lover’s name

Yes, stand beneath, don’t take me home
The tree didn’t say, but felt it forever
I long you to stay, forbidden wish overgrown
And I know you’ll be with me never

Time has gone, and the tree stood still
To blossom or not, not per its will
I now know what enchanted, now I see
The tree stood there, reminding I of me

The heart must now begin to stand

Beginning whole, to every last strand,
the heart must now begin to stand
An endeavor to resurrect into any form;
perplexed to fathom, was this its last storm

Will the soul lose in this conquest,
Or will it turn or burn or decay
The heart disbelieves this very concept;
a lot leaps to surround from yesterday

Looking at the depths down below,
the color the shade of cold snow
The heart wouldn’t know, it was young;
afraid to linger in hope, afraid to be stung

And now when it foresees truth in a way;
It must learn, despite its dismay
Of why leaning on it can be so hard,
denying obviousness can leave it scarred

To survive alone or to crumble like sand,
The heart must now begin to stand

Its greatest divide

That was achieved in that clueless state,
was premeditated and yet was sought to fight
I would laugh sometimes, upon impaired fate
Cutting its own wings, as it took its flight

The heart never sought this throbbing preference,
What I would withhold, and what I could confide
Despite hours of omitted reason and enduring severance,
This spirit will still be seeking its greatest divide

Time and I

For every moment I dare to seize,
Another arises to break its spell
The time which brings me to my knees
Time was brutal, it knew it well

Who am I to comprehend at once;
What stole us away in tons
And even though I tried its test
Time always claimed whats best

I try to prevent, as I fall;
But time also just knew it all
The universe makes us meet each day,
From memories such I cannot say

Time still didn’t stop at that;
it arose, a demon in my habitat
Told me reasons, sane, it seems;
as it crushed my every dream

But I still stand, with equal hope,
Filled with more than I can cope
I reject all that time suggests
And enter the lair of these quests