An unknown source

As intoxicated I lay, losing some strength;
Longing just a word, my wish knew its length
Beginning to walk upon an undrawn path,
Knowing nothing of consequences and its aftermath

I felt so dependent on some will,
Which turned to me and asked me still,
I seek no refuge within these fears,
Which defined me as well, through these years

Beneath this smiling, laughing face, I wear,
An unknown evil for me to bear;
Looked no further, just another burning flame
but to us now it looked all the same

The sparks always attempted to fall beyond
That place which was with cold, wetness bound
Some thoughts did tangled me within,
And always tore away the healthy sin

A sword beside; and from fate, a relentless frown,
Though always attempts to turn me down;
And in dwells this mind full of mysteries I know,
Which killed a waking presence long ago

Though as I stand at this arch of stone;
freezing, shivering, aching to every bone
Heights it reached of some burning desire,
the last attempts to fight the volcano with fire

It is not lost, not found, neither in any power;
The longest wait is the last minute of the hour
Beaten down to its mistakenly subtle force,
All within, just within, was its unknown source