Bit by bit

As lost, unstructured, battered and hopeless I feel about some of the things not falling at place – I also feel something else. I cannot define what this is, but it is just there – neither a force I could define, neither something which forms my stronger side. All I know is that is not a bad or a good side, or a wrong or a right; this is just something which keeps dying and resurrecting. In one small human life of billions and trillions of others who have passed their living and dying on this very earth, there is something which beats other than a heart. What beats within, I do not know. What I do know is that this refuses to die. This refuses to compromise, to accept defeat, to give up or strive for lesser. I have not even a hint of predictability skills to gauge what will happen next, and neither do I know whether these millions attempts will take me to success. I do not know if these trials do carry the weight to my freedom, or to whatever I know of satisfying this restless soul.

Courageous resolves are not an overnight phenomenon. The goals might not be as dreamy as they seemed, when you achieve them. The world worthy to live those dreams might perish bit by bit. The hopes might be extinguished each time they’re kindled. Failure may laugh at your face, and the world may seem like taking itself and you a peg lower each day. Yet, I will wait for those nights where my mind is not dominated by thought, but only one thing – courage. As mysterious the dawn is, hence I do not know whether it will come – but I stand here – waiting until I perish. I will get up tomorrow, and move. Even if it’s an inch and even if the circumstances throw me a hundred steps behind – I will move – bit by bit.