What shall be my way?

I wonder if it should twinge to love this way,
this isn’t something I had to try
If I would have a choice to ignore and let go,
I would so much rather die
The ways of things are strange and narrow,
and it tries to push me more in obscurity
But I realize that it is now chosen,
though considered as a dreaded insanity

There are some ties which can’t be broken,
simply to leave them as they are
What if you felt the harmony of such light,
despite you’re near, or far

To walk this way, to learn the indications,
it wasn’t hard to tell
as I withdrew, it only grew,
a forever self replenishing well

I just hold on to the ledge of hope,
and grow stronger with each passing day
If you loved me at any point in time,
Can you tell me, what shall be my way?