Friday, March 26, 2010

The Shadow

Stunned, broken, crying, I returned to my abode,
How things ended, and how this pain was bestowed,
Constant questions in my mind, constant tears in my eyes,
How everything which was sometime true, turns into a big lie?

Tired and weary, as I lied down on my couch,
Numb but in pain, I was not sure if for any feeling I could vouch,
To recompense for the darkness already within me,
The lights went out, and there was nothing I could see

Though the darkness, I kept lying still as a corpse in a grave,
The presence of my lost one, I all the more started to crave
As my feelings went through a rollercoaster, and so did the flow of my tears,
I saw a hooded shadow outside the window, to add and magnify my fears

Through the moonlight, the shadow for a moment lay still,
I blinked my eyes, the shadow disappeared at its will,
As startled I left my forced comfort,
The silence was deafening, and I felt to this feeling no resort

‘Get up boy; it’s just a shadow, that’s all’
I repeated to myself, in contradiction to all my bravery fall
Sitting up now, and on my feet in the darkened room as I stood,
There appeared the shadow again, this time without the hood.

It did not disappear this time, though I blinked long and hard,
Lonely, battered, in darkness with a shadow, all fear, no guard
Only my insanity could help me take such a stride,
I went towards the window, instead of choosing to hide

As I walked, my heart was beating a thousand beats,
Fear vanishes sometimes, and sometimes bravery self defeats
I reached the edge of my room, and to the window sill,
The shadow stay put there, watching me, making my soul still

Though the transparent shadow seemed dark at first, and I couldn’t see its eyes,
I knew it was staring at me, I wondered whether to face it was wise,
Slowly it moved more to face me, darker than it could ever be,
The shadow now lit up with a divine light, and I saw it was me

Staggered, I took a step back as I was petrified,
But the shadow stood there, still, ‘me’ personified
As I now dared and looked into its eyes,
The scary shadow also had the look which was wise

“Who are you?” I asked, my voice coming out shaken,
“I am you,” the shadow said, “and I have come to you, to awaken”
Hearing his calm but loud voice, I doubted my sanity, before I could squeal
“Go away, I am disturbed” I said, “And as it is, you’re not real.”

The shadow stood there still and now more opaque,
“You’re afraid to face your fears, hence I have come to rescue,
“I know you’re hurt, and battered and broken – but now nothing is at stake,
“And if you think you’ve lost it all, you’re in miscue.”

“What would you know,” I said, “It is me who is hurt.
“True values are not valued, the world is bad, and emotions are dirt.”
The shadow came into my room and now stood at a distance,
And from within me, I now believed, it had come to my assistance.

“I know what happened to you, and it is of such sorrow,
“But in all this mess, why do you fail to see tomorrow,
“Life is like this – hurtful, painful, and filled with people without morals,
“But to fail to try hard for winning, will just be of the truth, a denial.”

Hearing him, I said, “All is lies and truth which you speak about is nothing but pain,
“Why does the world thrive on making the good suffer, why do the wrongful gain?”
“The pain which you refer is merely for you to understand,” he continued,
“That truthful existence is a war, and by small skirmish’s you must never be subdued.

“Always keep your hands clean, and your mind right on track,
“For if you have a strong mind, it may even make the will of the God’s attack.
“If you shall lose in the course of you being rightful and just,
“Remember, even if you perish, glory is in such existence, and it shall never rust.

“Everything that starts has an end, and all of life will not always be the same,
“Sometimes the storms are the darkest, before the rainbow and the pleasant rain.
“And when life seems very austere, and it appears easier to escape,
“Never forget that a warrior is the one who stays and fights, and always his own future shapes.

Saying this, the shadow started carrying himself towards the window,
I now didn’t want him to leave, for by his words, my pain was overshadowed,
“Don’t leave just yet; there is much I want to tell you,”
“How can I leave,” he said, “I am always within you.

“I always was within you, in your best as well as darkest juncture,
“And if you choose to awaken me, strength is all that you shall capture.
“For life is too short to percolate any regret or sorrow,
“Cherish your happy times, as if there is no tomorrow.

The shadow then left my sight, but only my sight it seemed to leave,
It’s affirmative and fighting presence, was within me now I believed,
And now I learnt the lessons it taught me, in words very few,
And I now know that of the ship of my destiny, I am the captain, and I am the crew.

And now each time I face hurt, pain, immorality or inconsistencies,
I know how to look at and deal with the universe’s anomalies,
Because though my body is transitory, the shadow will never die or surrender,
And if a battle is thrown onto me, I shall be its best contender.

1 comment:

  1. One of the best poems I have ever read. Keep going Marcus... we are all with you.

    Your number 1 fan