Land and the ocean

How others thought I could never think
my thoughts being far from civilization’s sanity brink;
Like others felt I could rarely feel
My joys far away from culture’s appeal

The sun was always only half seen,
and dried the mornings summer dew
By ways of others, thrilled I have few times been,
since adolescence I slept through nights very few

Bewildered and rather poignant was my atmosphere;
the inquiry how to handle; my conscious was not sincere
Though in trance like state of the inevitable I sought refuge
Bizarre, shaky was my resolve; drown I would in its deluge

The shore of the sea kept restricted cool sand
as I stood in them, my soul finally begun to stand
I wonder why when the waters hit my feet,
I looked at the ocean, the sheltered land may have felt defeat

For long the land struggled, for me to be stable
But now I knew it was the ocean I would always resemble
The land burned from mores at the surface and ashes at the conscious core;
But the waters ran deep, alone, a cool, silent and mysterious store